The Bitter Truth: Paulaner Oktoberfest Wiesn November 13, 2011

It’s mid-November! Let’s review some Oktoberfest! You can’t get it anywhere because all beer now has Santa Claus on it/in it!

Giant can with presumably Germans.

For real, guys. Midnight October 31, once it flips to November 1, good luck finding your pumpkin ales or much of anything fall seasonal out in grocery stores. It’s like the mall in beer world… “Oh, November? You mean Christmas. Still want pumpkin spice, nutmeg, cloves? Have this stein shaped like a reindeer.”

 

This brings me to another point (and a convenient segue into talking about this Oktoberfest wiesn guy): When beer is sold with glassware, I am immediately wary. This might not necessarily be logical or right, but it makes me wonder why they have to offer a big, silly mug to make you buy it. Is there something wrong with the beer? Is this something you would only buy once and never again, so you would want a big thing to prove you had it?

 

So yes, Paulaner sells this beer with a tremendous stein. I mean, the can itself is tremendous– a liter, I believe– and every bit of it fits into that giant glass. I mean… I think it does.

 

I don’t have the glass because I didn’t buy this beer. My friend’s boss gave the whole silly boxed set to him for some reason, and he kept the mug because it was ridiculous and gave me the beer because he thought it was gross.

 

Honestly… I thought it was kind of gross too. LET US BEGIN.

 

The pour/first impressions/getting to know you: This was a really stupid pour. I couldn’t operate the huge.novelty.can. I dumped it all over my leg, got pissed. Perhaps this soured the whole experience.

So obviously, I didn’t get a really good head off of this. What little I got from crazy person-pour did some spotty lacing sort of thing. I was surprised. I was also surprised it didn’t look more carbonated. It was a really solid golden colour, which is not something I generally see in any of the beers I usually drink.

It didn’t smell like anything much at all.

 

The taste: This… reminded me of a fancier Budweiser. Like, you’re drinking Bud but you can detect vague hints of fancy underneath, like something special and tasty is trying to happen but just isn’t. I can’t even say it was maltier or hoppier, because it didn’t really taste like anything. It was really one-note, and that note was meh.

Initially, the endnote was weird and metallic, to the point where I thought it was expired or something, with an undercurrent of cardboard. Now, I’m no can-beer connosieur, but I figure the expiration date still means something, right? If so, I still had about eight months before this was supposed to taste gross.

I guess after it warmed up (/after I plowed through half of it in fifteen minute with my gummy worm dinner), I detected a little more of the honey people say is a thing for this beer.

 

Bitter Truth: Honestly, I was bummed. This wasn’t for me. A guy at work had told me all sorts of nice things about this stuff, and he’s a porter-lovin’, malt-adorin’ fella after my own heart. I wonder if maybe he had a different beer than me, because this was boring bordering on undrinkable for me. I want to make other people try it just so I can see if I’m insane or not. Something positive: I now have a giant, admittedly neat-looking can with fat Germans on it, sitting atop my fridge beside my Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown and millions of brown ale bottles.

Here’s to broadening horizons.

You guys. It’s Friday. November 4, 2011

 

Happy Friday.

 

You know people are going to want you to, you know, spend time with them. Go places. Do things. Awful stuff, plus it’s raining and/or you’d rather stay inside and eat an entire cake with your growler and a twenty-year-old David Lynch television series on Netflix.

 

Here’s a convenient list of excuses that won’t make you sound like a serial killer (or at least are better worded versions of the above so you at least sound less like a serial killer), by Brandon Scott Gorrell of Thought Catalog. Pick your favourite!

 

Because Thursday was your Friday. And you’ve spent the first half of the day trying to recover from your hangover. It’s fine to spend the next half of your day acting like you’re working — getting the minimal amount done — then take off at 4:15 with blankets in mind. Your couch will be waiting for you.

 

Because mehhhh. Whatever. Your friends are great but tonight they’re going to the same bar with the same people and it honestly doesn’t even seem that fun to you. And all your clothes are dirty anyways, and you don’t feel like trying to concoct some random yet stunning outfit, and your hair’s doing that weird puffy thing, and your cell phone ran out of batteries at noon today and you haven’t bothered to plug it in or turn it on, and there are three beers left from the six-pack you bought earlier this week, and it’s too cold outside anyways. It’s fine.

 

Because an inner voice is urging you to drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself tonight. Listen to that persistent feeling that you must be alone and consume a bottle of wine, YouTube, and 80s epic fantasy films all night. It’s NBD. Grab the blankets, space heater, cigarettes, and throw pillows. Dive in.

 

Because you accidentally started drinking at 3. Oops. One Casual Friday beer at 3 p.m. might lead to an early departure for happy hour with your co-workers at 4:30. It’s 7:30 now and you’ve already revealed way too much personal stuff to the intern. You’re supposed to be his boss! When you get home at 8:30 you realize you’re wasted, and by 9:15 you’ve fallen asleep on the couch with a half-eaten, poorly prepared quesadilla on the coffee table in front of you. It’s better this way, though, otherwise you’d be blacked out by now and all sorts of other embarrassing stuff.

 

Because you have someone warm. It’s totally acceptable to stay in on a Friday night when you have someone warm. Isn’t that like, half the point of going out anyways?

 

Because you forgot. It’s good on your bank account and your body. Immerse yourself in whatever creative project you’re working on, or in a good book you just bought, and forget to go out entirely. Turn off your cell phone while you’re at it. Dedicating your night to something other than binge drinking is a good change of pace every once in awhile.

 

Because you have a full day ahead of you tomorrow. You can either stumble through your full day tomorrow drunk from the night before and holding back projectile vomit, or you can wake up early and like, not feel like death. Your choice.

 

Because not tonight. It may be that you don’t need all that sh-t tonight. All the posturing, makeup, sidelong glances, forced small-talk with random people. It’s easy to be tired of that sometimes. Sometimes it’s better just to hang out with a good friend and play Yahtzee or whatever.

 

Because sleeping just seems like a much better option. Who needs alcohol, loud music, long bar lines and dickhead bartenders when you have a comfortable mattress, pillows, and a DVD player?

The Bitter Truth: Sprecher Brewing Company’s Black Bavarian October 31, 2011

So.

 

Has anyone heard of this beer: Black Bavarian?

 

This brewery: Sprecher?

 

How about this style: Schwarzbier?

 

If you answered no, no, and “Actually, isn’t that a thing from Spaceballs,” then you are as qualified as I am to write this review. But more on my lack of knowledge later.

IT BEGINS.

 

The experience: This was dumped hastily out of a growler obtained hours earlier before running to a Halloween party. While I fully intended to drink this directly out of the beer jug at the party, I opted for the sake of professionalism to actually, you know… pour it, look at it, smell it, taste it in something less than a long pull from a sixty-four (64) ounce jug.

 

This is a tricky beer… See, it’s dark, dark as any stout or porter I’d normally be drinking. But when you pour it, it pours like a less chewy sort of affair. No head to speak of (but growler is a mite hard to maneuver), and I could just barely see wee carbonation bubbles running around.

 

So I went for a sniff, expecting heavy coffee or chocolate or something of that ilk. I didn’t get much of anything.

 

Took a taste. Got the chocolate notes, but it didn’t feel like something that dark should. And what is this? Hops?

 

It turns out this ale-looking beast is actually a lager. Rather than just the malts I would tend to associate with a beer this dark, schwarzbier relies on hops as well and is a lighter kind of affair. Huh.

 

I’m a little bummed I didn’t get to spend as much time playing with this and savouring it as it was a unique kind of affair for me, but I was late to this party and it was my Booze of the Night. Whatever, don’t act like you never drink beer for inebriation purposes.

 

The Bitter Truth: I’d definitely try this again and recommend it to others. It’s an interesting thing, with its heavy beer looks and light beer body. If nothing else, it made me rethink my love of Ales and Ales Alone.

The Tasting Game, 15th Annual Brewer’s Jam October 28, 2011

Last Saturday marked my 3rd Community Shares Brewer’s Jam experience in Knoxville, Tennessee. Since discovering this gem of a beer festival I have made sure to buy tickets well in advance, as they ALWAYS sell out weeks before the event. While perhaps inconvenient to some, this is just one of the many reasons Brewer’s Jam is thus far my favorite beer festival.

By limiting the ticket sales, beer is guaranteed to flow throughout the 6 hour afternoon of tasting. With your $40 ticket comes a perfectly sized commemorative tasting glass (it’s really glass!), all the variety of beer you can drink, awesome live music and of course lots of fun with the best kind of people.

This year I ventured onto the tasting field with old drinking buddy Kelsey, and new beergirl Jessica. The weather was perfect and sunny. October really is the best month in East Tennessee. Some of my sampled delights were

Craggie Dubblecious by Craggie Brewing Company

Dark Alley by The Terminal Brewhouse

Bell Ringer Ale by RJ Rockers Brewing Company

Mojo Risin Double IPA by Boulder Beer

Estrella Damm by Damm S.A.

Restoration Pale Ale by Abita Brewing Company

And a few more I was too excited to write down…

I would also like to note that while in Knoxville, nothing is better after a day of drinking than pizza at Barley’s, perhaps my all-time favorite bar and restaurant. Okay, I will admit it has a lot to do with college sentiment, but thinking of the food and beer selection really makes me drool.

I can’t wait until next year, and I hope to see you there! Cheers!

Bitter Barn Review: Double pumpkin attack October 25, 2011

After over a year… a beer review. Aaaaaand it’s seasonal. You guys like seasons, right? Right. Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale and Marble City Brewing Company’s Spiced Pumpkin Ale, notes scrawled on the back of a Papa Murphy’s coupon.

BMHMPA: I have had it with Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale. Had.it It teases me with its box art, looking fall-ish and stylized pumpkin-y.
But really… there aren’t a lot of things I like about this beer.
Now, to be fair, I’m a dark beer sort of person. Perhaps my taste buds have been poisoned by stouts and porters to where I can’t taste subtle notes in wheat. And to be further fair, the label did bill this beer as having a “smooth, lightly spiced finish.”
But guys. This beer. It was like Blue Moon’s Belgian White with food colouring.
Let’s begin. I poured this out of a bottle into a stein. I will say it poured a really, really attractive autumnal amber. It even had a little foamy head that stayed with it most of the time, then left nice lacy patterns on the glass to where I felt like I was at the Prancing Pony (with less yowling hobbits).
Taste… I tried so hard to like this beer. To find the pumpkin and the spice. I tasted it. Got nothing. I left it out. Let it sit, warm up, decide it liked me. Nothing. I really tasted no spices, none of the cloves and nutmeg I was promised, not even some pumpkin. It just tasted like carbonation. At the last couple sips, after it was almost room temperature, I let it sit on my tongue. I thought I detected some notes of spice, but upon swallowing, end note was all carbonation.

Bitter Truth: Soooo pretty, like what you’d want to serve at your Halloween party. But for drinking? Nah. Not if you’re wanting pumpkin.

MCBCSPA: I… have a growler of this. I didn’t get to taste it at Brewers’ Jam, so I took my ass down Gay St. and bought a giant jug. (But more on the new bee jug later.) So. I have a lot of it. I’m drinking it right now.
And ohmygod, I am so happy about it. This beer tastes like Thanksgiving and pumpkin spice latte. Smells like it too.
LET’S BEGIN. Drinking vessel: Collectible Beatles pint glass. Not mine, but my friend Jeremy’s, a tequila-swilling, wine-boozing, beer-disliking, beard-wearing fancy lad. I think it’s worth mentioning that he found this beer bearable. He termed it “sweet.”
I agree. To start, the pour was a caramel colour, admittedly less pleasing than the Blue Moon offering. The head was also nothing much, really was only a little foamy because beer jug was full and I sort of dumped it all stupid rather than poured it. Head dissipated almost immediately.
There was so much pumpkin spice going on in here. By the end, when I had my nose down in the glass, the smell of cinnamon and cloves was almost overpowering. It made me want to sneeze.

Bitter Truth: It’s what I wanted from a pumpkin ale. Aggressively, obviously pumpkin spice.

DOUBLE THE BITTER: I’d choose Blue Moon’s pumpkin deal at a fall party or with food, as it’s accessible, pretty, and not very intrusive. I’d go with Marble City’s if just having a beer alone sitting on your porch looking at leaves in the late afternoon.

Bitter Barn Review: Spaten Oktoberfest October 22, 2011

Isn’t it great when you friends leave decent beer, or any beer, in your fridge after a party? Okay, well besides the case of Coors Light that still will not go to waste, I was left 4 Hop Projects, 6 Sam Adams Latitude 48 IPAs, several Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ales, and 2 Spaten Oktoberfests.

Before tonight I have never tasted a Spaten Oktoberfest. I drank it poured from a bottle into a pint glass. It has a nice rich copper brown color, and a thick short-term head that leaves little or no lacing. The smell is grainy and malty as well as the taste, with an abundance of carbonation and a thick body. The aftertaste is slightly bitter and metallic.

Overall, this beer is average to good. I probably will not ever buy it again, but I do not mind the freebies left in my fridge. Then again, who ever complains about free beer?

Cheers for Beers October 20, 2011

Chances are if you are sitting around enjoying a beer with friends, at some point someone will make a toast. It could be something simple (Cheers!), funny, sentimental or depending on how many beers already consumed,  nonsensical.

Toasting is a tradition celebrated all over the world. It is a custom that brings us together, celebrating at the same time both similar interests and different cultures. Traveling the globe and meeting new friends, the customary toast in the local language or accent is telling and an excellent ice-breaker.

While working in event planning, there is almost never an event that does not involve a speech-like toast at some point. Many of the events I work tend to be weddings, and I have seen them all; from the tear-jerking, to the hysterical, to the so rude and embarrassing I am pretty sure that relative is still given the silent treatment.

Over the years there are two toasts in particular that have sentimental value to me and my life and consequently are my favorites.

The first is a very long and very inappropriately explicit toast I learned from my Puerto Rican friend Gabriela. One reason I love this toast is that it is in Spanish, therefore outside Spanish-speaking countries it sounds impressive. Secondly, it is full of Spanish swear words and who doesn’t love cussing up a storm in public and not offending anyone? The third reason I love this toast is that it is full of powerful woman’s scorn. And finally the most important reason I love this toast is that it brings back memories of an amazing time in my life, in an incredible place with awesome people.

The other toast that stands out to me is much simpler. It was first uttered by my wild older brother one night when he took me out on the town. For the record he does not remember ever saying this toast, but admits it adequately represents his life at the time. “To the best weekend since…….last weekend!” I cannot even count how many times I have recycled this line. What better way to live your life? It only gets better every weekend.

When you hold up that big frosty mug for a clink of camaraderie, what is your celebratory salute?

Homebrew II : Pumpkin Ale October 14, 2011

Last night, with assistance from my friend Reggie, I brewed my second batch of beer. To fit the seasons we chose a pumpkin ale.

Still new to homebrewing and using a very small-scale set up, I chose a kit from Midwest Brewing Supplies. It included Gold liquid malt extract, 8 oz. Carapils, 8 oz. Caramel 10L specialty grains, 1 oz. Mt. Hood, 1 oz. Cascade, 1 cup brown sugar, tsp. cinnamon, tsp. nutmeg,  dry yeast, and priming sugar. We added a 29 oz. of canned pumpkin.

Overall the brewing process went pretty smoothly. I am set up for single-stage fermenting system so I won’t see my brew again for 2 weeks when it will be ready to bottle.

Beer Travels In Panama October 13, 2011

About a month ago I took a trip to Panama. While visiting a friend who currently lives there, we traveled our way from Panama City, north through the region of Chiriqui and back.

Obviously I love trying different beers, and when combined with my love of traveling, I am able to try many that are not available in my local market. As far as my limited traveling goes, I have found that most countries have one beer that is standard, mostly due to its mild, easy-to-drink taste and inexpensive price.

In Panama, this beer was Balboa. Any beer is better than no beer, and in Central America, any beer is better than water, but I was not very fond of this one. It was your standard cheap, watered-down lager, nothing fancy here. It was delivered via bottle or can. Balboa was not always cold, but when it was it proved very refreshing in the heat of the jungle. By my second week in Panama, there was a night when I refused to drink anymore and opted for a Heineken or Coors Light.  I did have one last Balboa in the airport the night my flight left from Panama City.

The other inexpensive and common option is Atlas. Atlas is even worse than Balboa. The only time I drank Atlas was when we stopped in one bar that sold nothing else. My second night in Panama I was informed by a local to never choose Atlas because it has a lower alcohol content for the same Price of Balboa. Locals always have the best advice.

In the larger cities of Panama there are some brewpubs that serve a heavier local brew, though I heard even if they advertise as a brewpub, they do not always make their own beer. While in Panama I visited a brewpub where I was served the best beer of my trip. However, it cost about $7 for a pint, about 7x more expensive than a Balboa. As a shoestring traveler, obviously this was a one-time indulgence.

Basically, when in Panama, I recommend doing as the Panamanians do, and drink Balboa as long as you can stand it. After that, most places do sell your standard variety of import beers to keep you from getting too homesick.

The Beer Tee Shirt October 11, 2011

The Beer Tee Shirt. Everyone has their favorite.

Until last week, my beer tee shirt collection consisted of some brewer’s jam shirts and a few label tee shirts that my dad gifted me from his travels.

Part of the fun of going to beer festivals is checking out everyone’s cool tee shirts. The funny ones only get funnier the more you drink. I am always a little jealous because mine is never outstanding, except to say “Yea… I know what beer is, sometimes I drink it at large organized events.” So, last week I started looking around online to see if I could find one that speaks to me, or rather, for me.

There are so many out there! I was tempted to buy at least 10 different ones. Eventually I decided on one that I saw on several websites that had two thumbs pointing in and said “This girl needs a beer.” Since it was on a few different websites I was price shopping and almost purchased one when I saw the same shirt…… IN SPANISH! Someone made an awesome shirt even more awesome.

I thought that the Spanish was pretty obvious but apparently a lot of people don’t understand it, at least not when I took it for a test drive around the office. However, if most people are like me, their Spanish only improves when they are drinking. So when I wear it to a beer festival I think most people will get it. If not, at least I tried.